


Devotion

by disdainfreely



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Billy misses his boyfriend, Doctor Strange is a pretty good mentor, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Minor Anxiety Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 21:33:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18949063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disdainfreely/pseuds/disdainfreely
Summary: Billy's been doing his best studying under Doctor Strange, but there's still things he doesn't know about his mentor.Plus his boyfriend is off studying in space and not with him, and it sucks.





	Devotion

**Author's Note:**

> My wife is so invested in the Young Avengers that I had to write her something. It's technically set in the MCU, but I'm not super firm on a timeline here.

Billy huffs at the book he’s supposed to be reading. He supposes he should take it as a compliment that Doctor Strange thinks he’s ready for such advanced reading, but it’s frustrating and also Teddy isn’t here, he’s off learning to be King of Space with Captain Marvel. The book isn’t getting any easier to decipher. He sighs and flips it closed. Maybe he can get some coffee and try again. At least he hasn’t yet been banned from coffee, even if he’s no longer allowed to summon it from the kitchen. Doctor Strange says he’s made terrible habits in his magic and he’s not allowed to do anything without supervision.

Somehow, even though Billy has been left alone in the Sanctum for days now, he has a feeling that Strange will know if he does anything.

He’s halfway to the kitchen, blanket wrapped around his shoulders in an absent mimicry of his mentor’s cloak, when he hears the whir and feels the magical hum that means Doctor Strange is returning from...wherever he was. Billy changes course to the portal room. Maybe Doctor Strange has brought something interesting back from wherever for Billy to see. 

Billy pokes his head into the portal room.

“Hey, welcome back.”

It takes a good few moments for Doctor Strange to look up at him. Billy bites his lip. He looks like a mess. His hair is knocked out of its usually immaculate style and the circles under his eyes are so dark they look like bruises. He’s leaning heavily on the pedestal in the center of the room and Billy rushes forward to help.

“Hey, what happened?” He moves to take Doctor Strange’s free arm over his shoulder and is gratified when the contact is allowed without protest. Doctor Strange’s cloak even wraps itself around Billy’s middle, as if he steady him further.

“I’m fine,” Doctor Strange says as if he isn’t allowing his apprentice to half-carry him out of the room. 

“Okay, well. This ‘fine’ looks like I should be calling Wong. Should I call Wong?” Billy asks. Doctor Strange shakes his head.

“He’s at the library in Kamar-Taj, isn’t he? Let him stay there. He has work to do.”

“Sure. Fine. So...uh...I’ll just take you into the kitchen? We can clean you up and I’ll try and fail to make tea to your standards.” Billy forces a laugh to try and lighten the air. It definitely doesn’t work. 

There’s an awkward silence as they stumble into the kitchen and Billy deposits Doctor Strange into a kitchen chair. The cloak seems reluctant to relinquish its grip on Billy’s midsection, but it does without too long a delay. 

“Okay, so...should I try and make tea? Or food, or something?” Billy asks, hovering over Doctor Strange like he’s about to either drop dead or vanish into thin air. “A first aid kit? Your lip is bleeding...”

“Don’t worry about that.” Doctor Strange winces as he speaks. “Just...some water.” 

“Water, right.” Billy hurries to the sink and fills a probably-clean glass. After a moment of deliberation, he also grabs the little first aid kit that lives under the sink. “Here’s this.” He sets the glass down and takes a seat facing his mentor, anxiously looking over him for injuries. He can’t really see anything under the heavy robes that Doctor Strange wears, but there’s a cut high on his cheekbone that’s bleeding sluggishly. Billy fumbles an alcohol wipe out of the kit to try and clean it, but he’s distracted at a quiet curse from Doctor Strange.

“Damn my hands.” Doctor Strange’s hands are shaking hard enough that he’s struggling to pick up his glass. 

“What happened?” Billy blurts out, horrified. “You’re hurt!”

“This is nothing new. I just can’t...” He’s clearly focusing, but his hands keep trembling.

“Can I help?” Billy asks desperately.

“No!” Doctor Strange snaps, then takes a deep breath. “No. I just...” His brow knits as he frowns and one hand’s tremors ease enough that he can slowly pick up the glass and drink. Billy watches in concern as Doctor Strange drains the glass in a couple of desperate swallows and carefully sets it down.

“I’ll get you more water.” Billy fetches another glass and retakes his seat. 

Another awkward silence falls over them as Doctor Strange struggles to drink a second glass of water. Billy fetches a third glass of water without a word, but this one stays on the table. The silence drags on for what feels like an eternity. Billy can’t help but wish Teddy was here. He can start any conversation without the crippling anxiety that claws its way up Billy’s throat and steals his air.

“Breathe.” Doctor Strange’s voice cuts through the haze of panic that’s made Billy’s mind go blank. “Breathe.” Right. Right. He needs to breathe. That’s necessary. A weight settles across his shoulders and something soft tickles his cheek. It takes Billy a moment to realize that Doctor Strange’s cloak has left its master to wrap itself around him. Despite whatever its been through, it still smells and feels clean and soft.

“You’re hurt,” Billy manages to choke out.

“I am not. I can explain. And, if I was injured, panic wouldn’t help me.” Doctor Strange reaches out one trembling hand to rest it on Billy’s shoulder. “Now breathe.” 

Billy knows he’s right, but it’s still a struggle to work himself off the ledge of panic. He clutches the cloak tight around himself and wishes Teddy was here. Once he’s reasonably composed, he peeks out from the cloak. Doctor Strange hasn’t moved, one hand resting on Billy’s shoulder and his eyes focused and concerned despite his obvious exhaustion. Billy resists the urge to hide in the cloak again. He still feels brittle and fragile.

“Look at me, Billy.”

Billy slowly lifts his gaze to try and make eye contact. It’s hard, but he manages. Doctor Strange smiles slightly.

“Well done. Now, can you do something for me?” He waits for Billy to nod before he continues. “Can you make us both some tea? My hands are shaking too badly to handle boiling water.”

Billy nods. Tea. He can make tea. Doctor Strange needs tea and he can’t make it for himself. He stands and is grateful when the cloak decides to ride with him. He puts the kettle on and fetches mugs and strainers and tea leaves. By the time the kettle has started to sing, Billy feels less like he might shatter if someone looks at him wrong. He pours the water and puts the leaves in to steep.

“Bring those over here and have a seat,” Doctor Strange says gently. Billy obeys. It feels nice to wrap his hands around the warm mug even if tea is still steeping. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Sorry about...all that?” Billy hunches his shoulder to try and hide in the cloak.

“It’s alright. There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Doctor Strange assures him. “Your tea is likely done.” Billy obediently removes the tea ball from his mug and sets it on the saucer. Still too hot to drink. Silence falls over them again, this one less awkward. Doctor Strange removes the tea ball from his own mug and wraps his hands around it.

“I used to be a surgeon. Best in my field,” Doctor Strange starts, staring down into his mug. “I got into a car accident. They aren’t joking when they lecture you on the dangers of texting and driving.” Billy takes a sip of his tea. He doesn’t like where this story is going. “I almost died. As it was, my hands were crushed.” Doctor Strange releases his mug and lays his hands flat on the table. “I have...extensive nerve damage.” Billy stares at Doctor Strange’s long fingers. For all the time that Billy has spent watching Doctor Strange’s hands move in intricate spellwork, he’s never really noticed the numerous surgical scars and other markers of old damage. “I was ruined. I couldn’t perform surgery and I refused to take a teaching position. Instead I spent my time trying to hunt down curses. I was lucky enough to find my way to Kamar-Taj and learned the mystic arts. I can use magic to keep my hands from trembling, but...the damage is still there.” He frowns and stares down at his damaged fingers. 

“But if you have to use magic to do it...so if you’re too tired...” Billy bites his lip as it clicks into place.

“I’m too drained right now to maintain it. I spent too long traveling between dimensions. I’ll be fine with rest.” Doctor Strange takes a sip of tea.

“What were you doing for so long?” Billy asks. “You were gone for days.” He takes a sip of his own tea. Not as good as his mentor’s.

“I saw some signs of potential trouble and had to go investigate. It’s nothing, at least for now.” Doctor Strange manages a faint smile. “But I’m exhausted.” 

“Oh, I should...Let me help you get to bed. I’m sorry I freaked out.” Billy practically leaps out of his chair. “You could’ve been in bed right away...”

“It’s fine, Billy,” Doctor Strange says patiently. “In the morning, call Wanda. She’ll take care of your lessons for the next couple days until I’m back on my feet.”

“Yeah, but...shouldn’t I get you a doctor or something?” Billy asks anxiously. 

“I am a doctor,” Doctor Strange says, sounding far too amused. “I’m fine. I just need rest.”

“Okay, but...” Billy sighs. He recognizes that familiar combination of amusement and stubbornness that means that his mentor isn’t going to listen to any further arguments. “Okay. Let’s get you to bed.” He stands and offers Doctor Strange a hand up. “You’re sure I can’t get you anything? You haven’t eaten anything yet...” 

“I assure you, I’m fine. I just need to sleep.” Doctor Strange leans heavily on Billy as they slowly move toward Doctor Strange’s bedroom. It’s not a place Billy ever goes.

It’s also, amusingly, a total mess. There are books everywhere, and is that a mystical artifact on his nightstand? Billy gently tips Doctor Strange onto his unmade bed. He debates for a moment whether he needs to help him get changed, but Doctor Strange is already mostly asleep. Oh well. He can shower and change when he feels better. The cloak keeps itself protectively draped over Billy’s shoulders as he creeps out of the room, trying to be quiet even though it would probably take an earthquake to wake his teacher right now.

He heads back to the kitchen to clean up the mugs they left on the table. The house is silent and Billy is unfortunately left along with his own thoughts. This is the weakest he’s ever seen Doctor Strange and it’s impossible not to think about how, mystical powers aside, he’s still human. Completely, devastatingly human. He could die.

Billy’s hands freeze on the mug he’s washing. Doctor Strange could die. Any number of things could happen to him, and then what? Who would be the next sorcerer supreme? It’s not as if Billy is ready to take the title, even if that’s what he’s theoretically being trained to do. Oh god. 

Billy finishes washing the mugs and sets them aside to dry. It’s weird that the full implications of his studies are only hitting him while he’s doing dishes. None of Doctor Strange’s lectures have been nearly as frightening, somehow. He sighs. Hopefully Teddy finishes his King of Space training soon. This is longest they’ve been apart since they first met, and it sucks. 

The cloak squeezes his shoulders in a friendly hug and Billy sighs and absently pets at its collar.

“Thanks, but you’re no replacement for Teddy.” 

The cloak droops a little, but seems to accept this with relatively good grace. Billy is about to head back to his room, and the dense book he’d been failing to understand before Doctor Strange returned, when the cloak tightens around his shoulders and tugs him toward the gallery of artifacts.

“What am I supposed to be doing here?” Billy asks the cloak. It squeezes him gently before sliding off his shoulders. “Yeah, okay, that’s not an answer,” Billy informs it. “I know you can’t talk, but you’re magic. C’mon, you’ve got to have something better than weird silent hovering.” The cloak apparently doesn’t have anything better, but something else starts glowing in a case beside it. 

“If this is some weird cursed thing, I swear I’m going to stuff you in the dryer with rainbow tie-dye t-shirts,” Billy says to the cloak, which droops a little. He steps up to the case to look down at whatever is glowing. It’s a pretty fancy-looking pendant, gold with a deep red stone set into it. He’s not really supposed to touch the artifacts, but this one is glowing. That makes it better, right?

Definitely better.

He glances over at the hovering cloak. It wouldn’t let anything happen to him. Probably.

Billy reaches into the case and picks up the pendant. It hands from his fingers, looking far too harmless to be kept in a case of scary magical artifacts.

“Yeah, so what are you? What crazy magic shit can you do?”

The pendant glints silently. Billy huffs and moves to put it back in the case. He’s gotten the lecture that at some point in his training he’ll get some magical artifact to choose him. Not yet, though.

“I bet you do something ridiculous and dangerous and you’re going to eat my soul,” Billy says to the pendant. “So I’m going to put you back.” 

The cloak wraps around his wrist to stop him as he goes to remove it. Billy gives the cloak a look.

“Okay, I don’t want my soul to get eaten by a pendant thing or by Doctor Strange when he finds out I was touching weird magic stuff.” The cloak’s collar twitches toward an elegantly written label. “Amulet of Devotion. Okay, that sounds really pretty, but that doesn’t actually tell me anything. Yeah, going back in the case with you.”

“B? Where are you? I’m not going crazy, am I?”

Billy freezes. “T?”

Teddy is off in space. Teddy isn’t here. He can’t be talking to him.

“B? Where are you?” Teddy sounds more than a little confused.

Billy looks around, brow burrowed. Teddy definitely isn’t here. He’s in space. He can’t be talking to him. The cloak tugs on his wrist again and Billy looks over at it. The collar points at him and he looks down instead. The amulet is glowing.

“That’s not helpful,” Billy tells the cloak.

“...What isn’t helpful? Where are you, Billy?” Teddy is starting to sound distressed. 

“Oh god, the amulet is letting me talk to Teddy even though he’s in space. It lets me talk to...someone I’m devoted to? Maybe?” Billy guesses to the cloak, which obviously can’t reply. “T? Sorry, I’ve got this weird magic amulet thing that’s letting me talk to you, I think. Or it’s going to eat both of our souls. I don’t really know but I’m not feeling like my soul is being eaten and I miss you so much.”

There’s a long quiet pause before Teddy’s voice echoes out of the amulet.

“I miss you too, B. So much.”

Billy tries not to smile too widely. “I’ve got so much to tell you about what’s been happening.”

“Me too. You’ve got not idea how many times I’ve had my ass kicked by Captain Marvel.”

“That sounds awesome,” Billy laughs. “You’ve got to tell me everything.”

“Yeah, okay. Get comfy. This’ll take awhile.” Billy can practically hear Teddy’s smile as he sinks to the floor, back against the case. The cloak settles protectively over his shoulders and Billy lets it squeeze him in something like a hug as he listens to his boyfriend talk.

As long as he can keep talking to Teddy, he can get through anything.

“You’re a pretty good scary magical artifact,” Billy whispers to the amulet so Teddy can’t hear.

It glow a little brighter in response.


End file.
